Wine, Dine, and Stand Up When You Sixty-Nine

Is there anyone who is not a fan of hummus? I could eat it every day, of every week, of every year. Below is a recipe for hummus with some added variations depending on what you may or may not like.

Hummus

2 cans of garbanzo beans

1/4 c tahini

juice of 1/2 lemon (or to taste. I do not care for super lemon-y hummus)

salt and pepper to taste

1/4-1/2 tsp paprika

For the hummus I regular make, I will often use:

garlic (as much as you wish, I use a lot. powdered garlic is fine.)

cumin (it gives the hummus a fantastic flavor)

sundried tomatoes ( once again, it’s a taste thing..so add as much or as little of them as you like)

herbs (fresh or dried. i like basil a lot in hummus. especially with the sun dried tomatoes.)

roasted red peppers ( i usually just by the kind soaked in brine that you find in the imported foods section of the store.)

peppers ( jalapeños, red pepper flakes, pretty much anything you like to add as much heat as you wish)

Add all ingredients to a food processor and blend until creamy. If the hummus is too thick, you can add small amounts of water at a time to decrease the thickness.

Now for the bread..I make this bread to use with a variety of different dishes. It works well for wraps, slicing up for dipping it into hummus, or for use with Mexican dishes. For the wraps/tortilla type dishes you will just need to roll the dough out a lot thinner.

2 cups flour (I use whole wheat, but either white or wheat, or white wheat works..)

1 pkg or equivalent of quick rise yeast

1/2 tsp salt

2 Tbsp olive oil

1/4 cup lukewarm water

Mix the yeast with the warm water and gently stir so the yeast gets mixed in. You can also add a tiny bit of sugar to the mixture to get the yeast going. Let the mixture sit for about 10 minutes. Add the flour, salt, and oil and blend together until a good dough is formed. If the dough is not thick enough, keep adding flour until you get it to a good consistency to where it can be rolled out into a tortilla type shape. You can roll them out to any thickness you desire, but around 1/8 of an inch thickness or so works best I think. Heat a frying pan on the stove without oil (use an old pan if you have one, since repeated use of the pan without oil will tend to burn the bottom) and on medium to high heat. Add the rolled out dough to the pan, and wait for it to start bubbling up on top. When it does, flip it over. You are looking for a nice golden brown on each side. Depending on how big or small you roll each one out, this recipe makes about 6-8 pieces of flatbread.

There you go. Enjoy the shit out of it!

Bone Dick

SPFU!

I had a Thursday ritual for a long time. Thursday being my only day off from work, I would usually take that day to do absolutely nothing except lay on the couch and read or watch insane amounts of Netflix. Along with those activities, this meal always seemed to be what I wanted (and it also does one hell of a job at curing a hangover).

Ps- This dish goes well with coffee. I prefer organic coffee, brewed very strong. Even more specific, I prefer Larry’s Beans coffee company.

Tofu Scramble

I pkg extra firm tofu (be sure and press as much water out of it as you can before frying)

Assorted veggies (I like to use peppers, onions, broccoli, etc)

Diced tomatoes (as much as you like)

Now, when it comes to spices, I am pretty notorious for not measuring anything. Ever. Tofu scramble is a pretty flexible dish anyways, so you can add as much or as little of any of the ingredients as you wish.

Spices I normally use are: Salt, Pepper, Tumeric, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Nutritional Yeast, Parsley, Mustard, Soy Sauce Or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos.

To prepare: Add tofu to a hot pan with a little cooking oil of your choice. Let it brown and crisp up just a bit, and then add all the dry spices. Let those cook for a minute or two, and then add your veggies. Cook until everything is heated well, and then remove from heat.

Biscuits w/Vegan Gravy

These biscuits and gravy are super easy to make, and taste very very good. You can eat the gravy on pretty much anything.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

In a mixing bowl combine:

2 cups of flour (I use whole wheat, but you can use white as well)

2-3 teaspoons of baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

~1/4 cup of nutritional yeast

2-3 Tbsp Earth Balance or other vegan margarine

Enough water or soy milk(use unsweetened or it will taste horrible) to for a good dough.

You can either roll the dough out and use a cutter, or you can make drop biscuits (it’s faster).

For the gravy:

In a hot sauce pan, add:

~2 cups water

1/4-1/2 cup nutritional yeast.

2-3 Tbps soy sauce or Bragg’s

1/4 teaspoon ground sage

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Bring gravy to boil and then reduce heat. Add mixture of cornstarch and water to thicken, or before you start the gravy make a rue.

So there you go shitheads. Next time you wake up feeling horrible, and can’t remember exactly how much fun the Skeleton Pecker show the night before was..Wipe the remaining shaving cream off your face, turn on your coffee pot, and get to work on this dish. You won’t be disappointed.

Thanks for reading.

BoneDick

SPFU